Image for post
Image for post
Socks. PHOTO: Sarah Lofgren

ULTIMATE 2018 Fall Fashion Report

Fall is here
Hand me a beer
Let’s sit and do a thing
Let’s watch the pretty people pass
In cufflinks, plaid and rings
They know the trendy clothes to wear
They understand makeup, shoes and hair
And never tear
Their underwear
By washing it
with Gruyere
and pear
But to be fair…
We lost the script
When we tipped
To underbits.


Pretty people. Right.

And if you want to be like them
A perfect nine or maybe ten
Then grab your pumpkin spice latte
And get ready to press play


The first thing you’ll want to buy
Is boots the shade of cranberry pie
Then get a tie in cognac
Toss the receipt
Don’t take it back
Next a sweater in mutton print
A nice brimmed hat with a turnip tint
Scarves look best in spiced cider brown
Tied loosely for strolling about town
Gloves the color of my mother’s stew
They look nice on me
They’ll look great on you

Aren’t you just
The prettiest picture
Don’t you make
The other folks sigh
It really is
A flattering mixture
I could eat you up

I might even try

It’s been a while
Since I had lunch
And I’m awfully hungry
I could eat a bunch
You’ve been so nice
In a fashionable way…

Oh, that’s not cool
Please don’t beg
It’s not very trendy
Perhaps just a leg?
Hear my stomach rumbling?
It’s been such a long day.

And I happen to like
Cranberry pie
Cognac makes me
Happy sigh
Mutton’s not bad
With turnips, either
And spiced cider’s best
That’s what I say!

It’s been a while
Since my mother’s stew
Especially delightful
When it’s served with you.

And I like the quiet.

Prefer it, really.

Especially now
When it’s getting dark.

Though if someone else wants
A trend report

Advice on knickers
Or maybe a skirt

I suppose I could make

Room for dessert.

Thanks for reading! This poem was badly written in honor of National Poetry Day. Sarah is a freelancer who exists on twitter and instagram and redbubble.

Written by

Engaged in inadvisable wordsmitheries and other creative acts.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store