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Sarah Lofgren
Sarah Lofgren

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Jun 11

The Moist Wars

Fun for everyone to enjoy, okay, maybe not everyone, but someone. — A year ago I got ten likes on a tweet and grew mad with power, using my newfound fame to jump on the cancel train and cancel a word or two. I canceled “cheugy” (you haven’t seen it around, have you?) …

Humor

3 min read

The Moist Wars
The Moist Wars

Published in Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

·May 31

Need a Pied Piper to Take Care of Your Nasty Rat Problem?

Might want to check out these online reviews — Graham Smearputs ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐— 3 months ago His piping was a pleasure to listen to, filled with high notes and low notes. His prancing was also world-class. I haven’t seen a single rat sniffing around my basement since the HOA hired him. Even if he hadn’t gotten rid of the rats, I’d still…

Humor

4 min read

Need a Pied Piper to Take Care of Your Nasty Rat Problem?
Need a Pied Piper to Take Care of Your Nasty Rat Problem?

May 22

The Snowballing of All My Small, Extremely Ridiculous Habits

One silly step at a time — Don’t worry. I’m not going to become a productivity/self help writer. Can you imagine? Most of my productivity hacks don’t translate well to other humans, because they are utter nonsense. For example, if I’m having a hard time concentrating, I like to put on a hat. …

This Happened To Me

3 min read

The Snowballing of All My Small, Extremely Ridiculous Habits
The Snowballing of All My Small, Extremely Ridiculous Habits

May 15

“What’s the Strangest Thing You Ever Dug Up?”

A group of scoundrels sat together in the far corner of the pub, the sort of foul villains that good, normal folk would cross the county to avoid. Their laughter was wild and raucous, delivered alongside bad breath and through mouths with missing teeth. …

Fiction

5 min read

“What’s the Strangest Thing You Ever Dug Up?”
“What’s the Strangest Thing You Ever Dug Up?”

May 4

Across the Long, Impossible Distance

The evening air was cold and thin, with stars stretching from horizon to horizon. Charles sat alone in the middle of a field, the silence so sharp he could hear the beating of his heart and little else. On his lap was a cheap walkie talkie. It reminded him of…

Fiction

3 min read

Across the Long, Impossible Distance
Across the Long, Impossible Distance

Apr 21

It’s Not Always Easy to Keep the Beacons Burning

This creativity game is a tall order. Keep your heart open so you can carve pathways guiding people to a kinder, wilder world. At the same time, toughen up. Tune yourself well, so you can find the value in criticism without allowing it to paralyze you, or turn you from…

Creativity

3 min read

It’s Not Always Easy to Keep the Beacons Burning
It’s Not Always Easy to Keep the Beacons Burning

Apr 9

It’s Friday Night and I’m Home Wondering What Millennial Ghosts Are Going to Be Like

Maybe I need an intervention. — Victorians had the whole ghost thing nailed down, with their dramatic clothes and general weirdness about death. (I hold only the highest respect for weirdness, so that is not meant to seem judgy.) Those folks were weiiiirrrrrdddddd about it. …

Ghosts

2 min read

It’s Friday Night and I’m Home Wondering What Millennial Ghosts Are Going to Be Like
It’s Friday Night and I’m Home Wondering What Millennial Ghosts Are Going to Be Like

Mar 6

How To Be A Mindful Mummy Instead Of An Unraveling Mess

A guide to connecting with the present — The urge to rage is strong. The need to moan is powerful. Who hasn’t had the compulsion to chase an Indiana Jones-type hack through dark caverns and over booby-trapped bridges? It can seem all consuming. But, you have a choice. You don’t have to give into those ancient grudges, the…

Mindfulness

2 min read

How To Be A Mindful Mummy Instead Of An Unraveling Mess
How To Be A Mindful Mummy Instead Of An Unraveling Mess

Feb 14

Fury and Thunder

A job interview takes an unprecedented turn. — Through the wall, she could feel the vibration of the machines, as they gobbled up yard after yard of crisp, white fabric. Probably, after working here for a week or so, Josephine would no longer notice. But now, on her first visit to the factory, the sound was impossible to…

Short Story

7 min read

Fury and Thunder
Fury and Thunder

Published in Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

·Feb 8

An Oompa-Loompa’s Totally Helpful Guide to Managing Burnout

Totally. Helpful. — Burnout is an especially hot topic these days, as workers left and right are fizzling out, crinkling down, and dissolving into microscopic piles of puddle goo. There are a few reasons for this trend, including: The pandemic Heavy workloads Rising inflation A boss who spends $6700 dollars on a custom…

Humor

3 min read

An Oompa-Loompa’s Totally Helpful Guide to Managing Burnout
An Oompa-Loompa’s Totally Helpful Guide to Managing Burnout
Sarah Lofgren

Sarah Lofgren

Engaged in inadvisable wordsmitheries and other creative acts. http://sarahlofgren.com

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