A Zombie’s Guide to Death, Destruction, and Happiness in the Emerald City
grrrr (drool) chomp chomp
While aimless ambling is a popular choice with most unholy hordes, an enterprising zombie can find success and fulfillment with a more intentional approach. After all, some cities offer deeply hospitable environments within which to moan and wreak havoc.
Are you a prowling corpse looking to relocate? I recommend casting your empty eye sockets on the home of pickle ball, grumpy music, and obscenely-shaped shellfish. Under the right circumstances, Seattle can be a zombie playland. Here’s how to make it yours:
Work with the terrain, and not against it
A challenging aspect of Seattle is that it is covered in hills. Furthermore, the tasty snacks who inhabit this irregular terrain tend to be very into hiking, which means they dart away uphill at a ridiculous pace to get away from any snarling pursuers.
As you know, zombies aren’t at their fastest when they’re shuffling uphill. Well, wipe that discouraged expression off your rotting face. To get your teeth on those Seattleites, simply try one of these three strategies:
- Hunt in packs so you can more easily surround your meal
- Start at the top of a hill, so…
