An Assortment of Rather Dull Things You Didn’t Want to Know About Me
And might have already known.
#1 - I only participate in trends when I can be late to them.
Hi Kyrie Gray & Jodi Tandet & Bebe Nicholson! Here it is. A list of various facts about me. You guys were so nice to tag me and yes, I was very slow to respond with my entry, but here it is! Whatever mean thoughts you were thinking about me, you can put them gently back in the drawer for the next time you need them.
(Please do not write these facts down in a notebook and sprinkle it with blood then show up at my apartment 10 years later muttering strange incantations. Thank you.)
#2 — Sometimes I worry I might be allergic to otters.
It’s not that I’m likely to come into close and frequent enough contact with otters for this to be an issue, however the thought of it haunts me. I am allergic to cats and dogs and pollen and weeds and dust and deadlines, so there’s a good chance I might also be allergic to otters. WHY GOD, WHY?
#3 — I really want to be part of a secret society.
If possible, I would like it to include capes and secret handshakes and pine-scented candles and dark basements and jaunts through the woods at midnight. If we could have some power over current events, that would be great. Perhaps we could get a tiny tattoo of an ambiguous symbol on our pinky fingers and eventually I would publish an anonymous tell-all.
#4 — My toenails grow super fast and are wedge-shaped.
This is part of the reason I only danced en pointe for 3 years before symbolically burning my pointe shoes. It’s also fun on a hiking trail to realize I haven’t clipped my toenails in a week and now they’re getting spiked back into my own foot as I go downhill.
#5 — I am both terrified of conflict and highly opinionated.
So this makes for a fun, stress-free life.
#6 — Did you know you can cook quinoa in a rice cooker?
Okay, this isn’t exactly about me, but it seemed important for everyone to know. Not only is it easier than cooking it on a stove top, but the quinoa turns out super fluffy.
#7 — This week is #seaotterawarenessweek.
Please be aware of a sea otter immediately.
#8 — I spent most of my school years hating math and believing I was terrible at it, then I got the exact same score on the verbal and math portions of my SATs.
So, that’s a thing. Somewhere there’s a universe where I’m a mathematician.
#9 — I’m synesthetic.
I have strong associations with numbers. For example, 8 is the worst number. It’s domineering and cruel. 28 isn’t quite so bad, because 2 is a friendlier, more helpful number and it manages to neutralize the 8 a little bit. They all have weird personalities that have been the same since I was a small child.
I also have spacial references as to how I visualize the days of the week and other bizarre stuff.
Kind of (but not exactly) like this:
I thought this was normal, but apparently it’s not. At least it’s kinda interesting. To me. And maybe no one else.
#10 — My secret dream is to play Sally Bowles in Cabaret.
So someone please cast me soon, because ima gonna age out of that one in a few years.
#11 — I’d also like to work on a project with The Muppets.
Guess there’s less of a time limit on that one.
#12 — How many items was I supposed to do for this entry?
Does anyone know?
#13 — I guess I could look it up.
But, based on the voices in my head, 13 is a good number to end on, so we’re going to conclude this thing right now.
I’m not going to tag anyone, because I assume everyone else in the universe has already done this, or, if they haven’t, it’s because they don’t want to. If that isn’t the case for you, then go ahead and write one and I’ll clap for it and pretend I tagged you. Agreed? Agreed.