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Pumpkin Patch, PHOTO: Sarah Lofgren

Creative Halloween Costumes for Procrastinators

Suggestions based on items you have around the home.

Everyone knows the time to start thinking about your Halloween costume is immediately after the previous Halloween. This gives you lots of time to sift through ideas, create sketches, workshop funny voices, and really get into character.

But, not everyone is as on top of it as I am, so for those folks addicted to the sensation of last minute panic, here are a few ideas for that upcoming Halloween party.

Paris Syndrome

I always enjoy dressing up in costumes I have to explain to people. You too can get some good mileage out of confusing and unintentionally obscure costumes.

Paris Syndrome is a disorder that happens to some people when they visit Paris for the first time. They’re overwhelmed by the fact that Paris is a real place where people occasionally puke on the street, instead of a magical Disneyland without children where Audrey Hepburn and Owen Wilson high kick through kaleidoscopes of rotating bagettes.

To portray Paris Syndrome, collect all the random Paris-themed shit you probably have around your home. Wear a beret on your butt. Glue an Eiffel Tower to your head. Maybe wear a twee bicycle over your shoulder. Paint big Xs over your eyes. It will be fun!

Obnoxious Frat Boy at Halloween

You know what’s going to be a popular costume this year? Bill Cosby. Yes, I also weep for humanity. But, instead of falling prey to the temptation of throwing on a vibrant sweater and carrying around a box of pudding pops, think a little harder.

Instead of being Bill Cosby, consider impersonating the frat boy dressed as Bill Cosby. It’s better because it includes layers of social commentary.

Do the dumb Cosby thing. Now, add the layers. Put way too much product in your hair. Grab the Axe body spray you forgot you had. Pull some dirty socks from the hamper and wear those. Tape a beer can to your body and forget about it. Shimmer with unearned confidence.

Voila! You are now an Obnoxious Frat Boy at Halloween.

SnapChat Filter

Old people will think you’re very cool and young people will have the opportunity to roll their eyes at you. But how do you craft a SnapChat Filter costume only with items around your home?

Most people have posters or artwork on their walls. Take one of these pictures out of its frame and turn it around. Cut a hole out of the center. The hole should be a good size for sticking your face through. (Save the circle you cut out! You’ll want it later.)

Then paint a new picture with cute ears and stars. Don’t have paint handy? Check your fridge for condiments! They’ll do just as well. Then, cut a smaller circle out of the previous circle and glue it to your nose. Now you have a puppy nose! Tape the whole thing to your head, put on 10 gallons of makeup and you’re ready to go. (Remember to turn sideways when walking through doorways.)

One of Your Past Lives

The great thing about this costume is that it is immune to criticism. If people tell you your costume is stupid, they’re calling your past life stupid and good friends wouldn’t dare do that.

You don’t actually have to have any past lives. Just pretend. Act very serious so people believe you. You can wear any random old stuff you have lying around. Good names for past lives include: Edna, Chidimma, Pete, Osiris, Joan, Philip, Aengus, Herb, Stubby, Diamond, Jeeves, Bogomolov, and Trickle.

I hope this article has given you some good ideas! And, for those of you who have put together a costume at the last minute, what did you dress up as? How did it go over?

Happy Halloween, everyone!

Thanks for reading! Sarah is a freelancer who exists on twitter and instagram and redbubble.

Engaged in inadvisable wordsmitheries and other creative acts. http://sarahlofgren.com

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