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Chimera Dance Theater in Seattle, PHOTO: Sarah Lofgren

Everyone can dance! Yes, even you!

With your weird, long squid arms

When well-meaning people find out I’m a dancer, they tend to have the same reaction.

“Oh wow!” they say. “That’s pretty cool! I can’t dance at all.”

For some reason, tons of people out there think they can’t dance. But they’re wrong.

With the right training, confidence and circumstances, everyone can dance! Even you, dear reader. Maybe you won’t be the next Anna Pavlova, but with a few classes you can break it down at the company holiday party or shake it out at a random drum circle in the park.

I truly believe that EVERYONE can dance.

Yes, even you, with your inverted, barn door knees and spine that loops like a roller coaster at Knott’s Berry Farm.

Don’t believe me? I’ll prove it!

The first key is to get personal with the music. Music holds many of the secrets to dancing and, as a bonus, music is fun to listen to! Put some on.

Justin Bieber? Really? Why do you even own this?

Oh well. I guess you don’t need good taste in music to be a dancer.

Now close your eyes and search for the beat. You’ll recognize it because it’s the part of the music that goes “boom boom boom boom” or “bam bam bam bam”. See how it’s kind of steady? Sway. EVERYONE can sway.

Even you, with your inability to clap your oven mitt hands within the remotest vicinity of the beat.

Just right, left, right, left.

I said RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT. Don’t you know which side is your right side? 😐

Maybe you should take a water break.

Better?

I’ve found that sometimes nerves can get in the way of good dancing. Maybe you’re self conscious and worried you won’t look cool. That’s ridiculous! You definitely won’t look cool. Only cool people look cool and that ain’t you.

We all know those sock garters and that Winnie the Pooh sweatshirt didn’t leap out of the closet and drape themselves on your body. That was you. You chose to put them on. Same goes for those Dwight Schrute glasses you selected when there were 249 other, better frames at your local eyeglass store.

But that’s okay! We’re talking about dancing, not being cool. These are two different things. Not many people can be cool, but EVERYONE can dance.

So tie your shoelaces, take the tictacs out of your pocket and shake your groove thing a little.

Nevermind that your groove thing is about as efficient as the 1961 Corvair rusting away on your unmowed lawn.

You’ll do great!

One of the most important things about dancing is not to let your self consciousness get in the way.

Sure, maybe your chin is so big it blocks your view of your feet and your skin is so oily it drips sweat onto the dance floor and leaves big spots that cause you to slip and fall in front of everyone, landing on your back and waving your arms and legs like a stuck turtle and making noises that sound like a shipwreck being devoured by a large and squeaky centipede, while your shirt rides up a bit and reveals your hairy belly to the whole room while your best friend films the debacle and uploads the video to YouTube.

No big deal, my friend.

I said that EVERYONE can dance and you are part of that demographic.

So you HAVE to dance.

Get up.

Dance.

Smile.

Shake.

Boogie.

Groove.

Harder.

Harder.

HARDER.

🔪

See? Everyone can dance.

Thanks for reading! Sarah is a freelancer and sometimes dancer who exists on twitter and instagram and redbubble.

Written by

Engaged in inadvisable wordsmitheries and other creative acts. http://sarahlofgren.com

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