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Pioneer Square — Seattle, PHOTO: Sarah Lofgren

How to get the username you want

When someone already has it.

It’s one of the great trials of modern life. Maybe you’re a business, maybe you’re a celebrity or maybe you’re just a regular Josephine. It happens without regard to status or wealth.

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Photo by Asdrubal luna on Unsplash

Pay Them Off

This one is popular with celebrities, since it involves very little work and they tend to have money. If you have money (can I have a loan?) ask yourself if you really want to use it to pay some random ding dong on the internet when you have other options.

Intimidate Them

Now we’re talking. If you’re a creative person, there are a million things you can do to intimidate a stranger into giving you their username.

Guess Their Password

People are way too casual about passwords and you’d be surprised how many are completely guessable. Try these:

Try To Become Their Best Friend

If the last two options seem too evil for you, that doesn’t mean there aren’t nicer, friendlier options. This one is a bit of a long game, but it will ease your conscience (What’s it like having one of those? Is it annoying?).

Written by

Engaged in inadvisable wordsmitheries and other creative acts. http://sarahlofgren.com

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