Graphic by Sarah

I am a spork and I am running for president in 2020.

Lots of people told me I shouldn’t do it.

“People won’t vote for a spork,” they said. “You were made for conveying food in whimsical fashion. You don’t know the first thing about politics. You’re not photogenic. Or savvy. There’s no chance you’d actually win. You might even split the vote, the way you split that linguini noodle…