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Lowkey Ways To Let People Know You’ve Been To Canada

Because what else are you going to do with your life?

Add “international travel” to your interests section on LinkedIn.

Add a custom poutine emoji to your company’s Slack account. Use it at least once a day.

Change your ringtone to “Man, I Feel Like A Woman” and when people give you a strange look ask them if they realize Shania Twain is Canadian.

Start affecting a mild accent and when people comment on it, say, “Oh, it must be something I picked up while I was in Ursalia. Sowry about that. Ha ha!”

Complain that highways in America feel grimy.

Leave three rolls of duct tape stacked on your desk and when people ask you about them say, “It’s the handy man’s secret weapon!” If they look confused, wave your hand dismissively and say, “Oh, you wouldn’t understand. It’s a Possum Lodge thing.”

When your friend group suggests a Starbucks run, wince and say, “I guess. If we have to. Man, I miss Tim Hortons. Nothing like a French Vanilla & English Toffee Hot Beverage in the morning.”

When your coworkers start complaining about politics, interject with, “This is why national leaders should really be sexy pots. People who live in countries where the leaders are sexy pots seem so much happier. Of course, that’s just my personal observation based on the experiences I’ve had.”

Upload Instagram snaps of yourself unironically rocking a Canadian tuxedo. Use hashtags #canadianlife #mooselover #mountiesmakemehot

Whenever you see someone wearing a Bluejays hat or any Canucks merch give them an enthusiastic hug and tell them you “love their culture so much.” Allow small tears to form in the corners of your eyes.

Change your desktop wallpaper to an image of Howie Mandel in a Roots jumper.

When you go out to brunch and the only syrup available for your pancakes is Mrs Buttersworth’s, roll your eyes and complain about how America is “so uncivilized.”

On your Tinder profile, write that you’re looking for someone who is “better than bagged milk”.

Stream Schitt’s Creek on your office computer during work hours. If your boss doesn’t like it, file a complaint with HR claiming that he’s “made discriminatory comments about Canadians.”

When your aunt posts pictures of her visit to Breckenridge on Facebook, leave a comment that reads, “Ah, the American Rockies are so beautiful. Almost as beautiful as the Canadian Rockies! Maybe you’ll be able to make it out there one day. Highly recommended. Love you, Aunt Cindy!”

If all of that fails and people still don’t realize you’ve been to Canada, consider getting a bumper sticker for your car that reads: “I’ve been to Canada.”

Thanks for reading! This post was not sponsored by the National Board of Canadian Travel and Tourism, but it could be! Canada is so beautiful! Wink, wink! If you liked this post, consider following me on twitter. Where I tweet.

Written by

Engaged in inadvisable wordsmitheries and other creative acts. http://sarahlofgren.com

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