Urgent Memo to the Citizens of Blorghidy Bue Bue
a short story? fiction? something?
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Greetings,
The Tripump Association of Kliptos appreciates your efforts in preparing the lippogrinty device for the upcoming launch. It has been a difficult endeavor and soon your hard work will be rewarded with compensation, possibly a paycheck or a discount on luxury travel to the Hrapilino system. No, we can’t say when it will be rewarded. Soon.
But, that is not what this urgent memo is about.
It has come to our attention that some citizens, while executing their all-important duties on the lippogrinty device, have been behaving in ways unbecoming of a Blorghidy Bue Bueite. Such behaviors make everyone who must work alongside these individuals uncomfortable. Please refrain from the following:
- Turning your cheek pockets inside out to indicate your interest in mating with another Blorghidy Bue Bueite. This is not appropriate workplace behavior, and the fact that your workplace is the entirety of your world does not excuse it.
- Utilizing your gharpint wrenches to tap out the rhythm to Pippy R. Snippin’s chart-topping hit Lab Birth is Egg Birth is Real Birth when you are supposed to be fixing things.
- Sneezing your milk dust into other citizens’ faces.
- Wearing your standard-issue nartarolls slung low across your min muscles to indicate a rebellious spirit and an indifference to the dress code.
- Flaring your abdominal gills and screaming, “It’s all an illusion, death to The Tripump, we are alive, alive, alive!”
Thank you for your cooperation in this matter. Remember that we are all partners in this important work. Through thoughtfulness and extraordinary focus, we can complete the lippogrinty device on schedule and commence with the invasion of Earth.
Sincerely,
The Tripump Association of Kliptos
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