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Otter in the Vancouver Aquarium. PHOTO: Sarah Lofgren

Why the Otters Should Lead Us

A practical argument

“Haha,” you’re probably thinking. “Sarah is such a nut! Otters! Haha!”

Humans kind of suck at leading other humans

Let’s be honest here. Human leaders? They’re 95% bad.

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Photo by David Groves on Unsplash

Pop culture would instantly improve

If otters were our leaders, we’d get much better movies and tv shows. Think for a moment. Would you want to watch a version of Stranger Things where, instead of child actors running around, you’d get to watch otter pups saving the day? Silicon Valley, but headlined by a neurotic and adorable river otter?

Porgs are already space otters, so Star Wars wouldn’t have to change much.

I bet there would even be a channel where you could watch fish swimming around all day. This is far superior to the televangelists and shopping channels we have now.

Otters unify people

You’re not going to be able to divide the populace on any particular matter, because otters don’t give a crap.

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Photo by Steve Halama on Unsplash

Written by

Engaged in inadvisable wordsmitheries and other creative acts.

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