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Sarah Lofgren
Sarah Lofgren

2.3K Followers

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Aug 10

The Ineffable Taste of Unwashed Blackberries

a short story — The sun was making its way up the sky and the neighborhood buzzed with the sound of lawnmowers when the Wintuck family loaded up their minivan and drove off to pick blackberries. In the driver’s seat was Dad, with his aviator sunglasses, farmer’s tan, and practical sneakers. Mother was beside…

Fiction

3 min read

The Ineffable Taste of Unwashed Blackberries
The Ineffable Taste of Unwashed Blackberries
Fiction

3 min read


Jun 2

Voice of Reason

No one listens to the sea hag, even when they really, really should. — The entrance to the cave was lined with rows of pointed teeth, giving it the appearance of a shark’s leering maw. Only a fool would enter that particular foreboding cavern, about which many songs had been sung—songs including words such as anguish, fester, scourge, and bewail. The mermaid swam inside. …

Parody

4 min read

Voice of Reason
Voice of Reason
Parody

4 min read


Mar 28

Urgent Memo to the Citizens of Blorghidy Bue Bue

a short story? fiction? something? — Greetings, The Tripump Association of Kliptos appreciates your efforts in preparing the lippogrinty device for the upcoming launch. It has been a difficult endeavor and soon your hard work will be rewarded with compensation, possibly a paycheck or a discount on luxury travel to the Hrapilino system. No, we can’t…

Humor

2 min read

Urgent Memo to the Citizens of Blorghidy Bue Bue
Urgent Memo to the Citizens of Blorghidy Bue Bue
Humor

2 min read


Feb 11

Let’s Take a Moment to Discover if AI Can Write a Good Joke

Or any joke at all. — One of the most challenging things about being a comedy writer is the part where we have to write funny stuff. Other writers, the ones who aren’t trying to make people laugh, don’t know how easy they have it. However, those unfunny writers are finding themselves vulnerable to the rapid…

Humor

3 min read

Let’s Take a Moment to Discover if AI Can Write a Good Joke
Let’s Take a Moment to Discover if AI Can Write a Good Joke
Humor

3 min read


Jan 25

The Exact Conditions Conducive to Creativity

a short story — Gill sat at his desk with his face planted against the keys of his laptop. Outside a woodpecker tapped at the corner of his house. “Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.” …

Short Story

4 min read

The Exact Conditions Conducive to Creativity
The Exact Conditions Conducive to Creativity
Short Story

4 min read


Dec 17, 2022

Just a Holiday Portrait Session and NOTHING ELSE

(there is something else) — It was Herbert’s last shift at the department store photography studio and his day had been filled with screaming babies and yowling cats. …

Humor

3 min read

Just a Holiday Portrait Session and NOTHING ELSE
Just a Holiday Portrait Session and NOTHING ELSE
Humor

3 min read


Nov 16, 2022

My Extremely Brief Stint as a Sports Fan

I gave it a whirl… it didn’t work out. — I never found sports particularly interesting, but, in sports’ defense, I never really tried. I was way too wrapped up in my identity as an art snob. Put on a show in an old mausoleum, or talk about how The Pinchers traded Old Buckley to The Push Pins for one…

Humor

3 min read

My Extremely Brief Stint as a Sports Fan
My Extremely Brief Stint as a Sports Fan
Humor

3 min read


Oct 30, 2022

A Haunting

The coffee shop closed its doors forever on the night before Halloween. The latest victim of the overeager wrecking ball, it was forced to step aside so the march of progress could continue unimpeded. 93 years of operation and 7,807,350 cups of coffee served—a proud legacy on which to end…

Short Story

2 min read

A Haunting
A Haunting
Short Story

2 min read


Sep 25, 2022

Tired? Stop Doing These Four Ridiculous Things

It’s an instant energy boost. — Does it ever seem like everyone is tired these days? Fortunately, there are a few activities you can eliminate from your life to give yourself an extra jolt of vigor, keeping you fully conscious and slightly productive all day long. 1. Challenging your friends to coffee drink-offs at 11:34pm every day Sure it’s fun in the moment. It makes you seem…

Humor

3 min read

Tired? Stop Doing These Four Ridiculous Things
Tired? Stop Doing These Four Ridiculous Things
Humor

3 min read


Sep 8, 2022

I Might Be Dying and It’s This Chair’s Fault

not literally dying, but an equivalent level of pain, emotionally speaking — I got the smart idea to buy a new office chair, because my old chair was roughly 800 years old and made my butt feel like a bowling ball bouncing across a brick floor. When one has an uncomfortable chair, one tends to do most of one’s writing in other…

This Happened To Me

4 min read

I Might Be Dying and It’s This Chair’s Fault
I Might Be Dying and It’s This Chair’s Fault
This Happened To Me

4 min read

Sarah Lofgren

Sarah Lofgren

2.3K Followers

Engaged in inadvisable wordsmitheries and other creative acts. http://sarahlofgren.com

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