Feb 11Member-onlyLet’s Take a Moment to Discover if AI Can Write a Good JokeOr any joke at all. — One of the most challenging things about being a comedy writer is the part where we have to write funny stuff. Other writers, the ones who aren’t trying to make people laugh, don’t know how easy they have it. However, those unfunny writers are finding themselves vulnerable to the rapid…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Jan 25Member-onlyThe Exact Conditions Conducive to Creativitya short story — Gill sat at his desk with his face planted against the keys of his laptop. Outside a woodpecker tapped at the corner of his house. “Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.” The bird had been engaged in the same activity for the…Short Story4 min readShort Story4 min read
Dec 17, 2022Member-onlyJust a Holiday Portrait Session and NOTHING ELSE(there is something else) — It was Herbert’s last shift at the department store photography studio and his day had been filled with screaming babies and yowling cats. One woman in a garish sweater had insisted he switch back and forth between the two available holiday-themed backdrops for half an hour, before she finally settled…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Nov 16, 2022Member-onlyMy Extremely Brief Stint as a Sports FanI gave it a whirl… it didn’t work out. — I never found sports particularly interesting, but, in sports’ defense, I never really tried. I was way too wrapped up in my identity as an art snob. Put on a show in an old mausoleum, or talk about how The Pinchers traded Old Buckley to The Push Pins for one…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Oct 30, 2022Member-onlyA HauntingThe coffee shop closed its doors forever on the night before Halloween. The latest victim of the overeager wrecking ball, it was forced to step aside so the march of progress could continue unimpeded. 93 years of operation and 7,807,350 cups of coffee served—a proud legacy on which to end…Short Story2 min readShort Story2 min read
Sep 25, 2022Member-onlyTired? Stop Doing These Four Ridiculous ThingsIt’s an instant energy boost. — Does it ever seem like everyone is tired these days? Fortunately, there are a few activities you can eliminate from your life to give yourself an extra jolt of vigor, keeping you fully conscious and slightly productive all day long. 1. Challenging your friends to coffee drink-offs at 11:34pm every day Sure it’s fun in the moment. It makes you seem…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Sep 8, 2022Member-onlyI Might Be Dying and It’s This Chair’s Faultnot literally dying, but an equivalent level of pain, emotionally speaking — I got the smart idea to buy a new office chair, because my old chair was roughly 800 years old and made my butt feel like a bowling ball bouncing across a brick floor. …This Happened To Me4 min readThis Happened To Me4 min read
Jul 10, 2022Member-onlyA Warm Cookie in a Cool Cave“Hey beautiful. I saw the picture you posted in the PNW Spelunkers and Snickerdoodle Enjoyers group and, although most of your face was concealed by your goggles and LEPTIOL SHORTHY Caving Helmet with the tough ABS shell, I was instantly captivated. Hope this isn’t too forward, but I’d love the…Short Story3 min readShort Story3 min read
Jun 11, 2022Member-onlyThe Moist WarsFun for everyone to enjoy, okay, maybe not everyone, but someone. — A year ago I got ten likes on a tweet and grew mad with power, using my newfound fame to jump on the cancel train and cancel a word or two. I canceled “cheugy” (you haven’t seen it around, have you?) and also stopped people from using “ninja” in job…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Published in Jane Austen’s Wastebasket·May 31, 2022Member-onlyNeed a Pied Piper to Take Care of Your Nasty Rat Problem?Might want to check out these online reviews — Graham Smearputs ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐— 3 months ago His piping was a pleasure to listen to, filled with high notes and low notes. His prancing was also world-class. I haven’t seen a single rat sniffing around my basement since the HOA hired him. Even if he hadn’t gotten rid of the rats, I’d still…Humor4 min readHumor4 min read
