A halloween short story. — The knife slides through like a whisper, so quick and gentle I barely know it’s happened. “Did you mean to do that?” I want to ask. Perhaps, if it’s a mistake, there’s still time for a rewrite. Unfortunately, there’s no one for me to negotiate with. My attacker is fleeing…

a short story — The sun was making its way up the sky and the neighborhood buzzed with the sound of lawnmowers when the Wintuck family loaded up their minivan and drove off to pick blackberries. In the driver’s seat was Dad, with his aviator sunglasses, farmer’s tan, and practical sneakers. Mother was beside…

No one listens to the sea hag, even when they really, really should. — The entrance to the cave was lined with rows of pointed teeth, giving it the appearance of a shark’s leering maw. Only a fool would enter that particular foreboding cavern, about which many songs had been sung—songs including words such as anguish, fester, scourge, and bewail. The mermaid swam inside. …

a short story? fiction? something? — Greetings, The Tripump Association of Kliptos appreciates your efforts in preparing the lippogrinty device for the upcoming launch. It has been a difficult endeavor and soon your hard work will be rewarded with compensation, possibly a paycheck or a discount on luxury travel to the Hrapilino system. No, we can’t…

Or any joke at all. — One of the most challenging things about being a comedy writer is the part where we have to write funny stuff. Other writers, the ones who aren’t trying to make people laugh, don’t know how easy they have it. However, those unfunny writers are finding themselves vulnerable to the rapid…

a short story — Gill sat at his desk with his face planted against the keys of his laptop. Outside a woodpecker tapped at the corner of his house. “Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.” The bird had been engaged in the same activity for the…

(there is something else) — It was Herbert’s last shift at the department store photography studio and his day had been filled with screaming babies and yowling cats. One woman in a garish sweater had insisted he switch back and forth between the two available holiday-themed backdrops for half an hour, before she finally settled…

I gave it a whirl… it didn’t work out. — I never found sports particularly interesting, but, in sports’ defense, I never really tried. I was way too wrapped up in my identity as an art snob. Put on a show in an old mausoleum, or talk about how The Pinchers traded Old Buckley to The Push Pins for one…

The coffee shop closed its doors forever on the night before Halloween. The latest victim of the overeager wrecking ball, it was forced to step aside so the march of progress could continue unimpeded. 93 years of operation and 7,807,350 cups of coffee served—a proud legacy on which to end…